Letter from the Editors – Summer 2013

Banksy - Follow Your DreamsBuffoons. Is there really any better way to describe Michigan’s leadership? Snyder couldn’t get his way on the Emergency Manager law or “right to work” so they were pushed through using a spending trick. If the Educational Achievement Authority is so great, why did Detroit mayoral darling Mike Duggan pull out six months before the election? Maybe it was the revelation of the ‘skunk works’ education overhaul group, comprised of state officials using private emails to concoct private schemes.

We can follow that skunky smell all the way back to Lansing, where these buffoons are pulling the legislative strings. From the looks of it, they’re just taking stabs in the dark at this point. Hamtramck was declared ‘financial stable’ five years ago and now they’re about to go into round two of emergency financial management. We’re getting into some weird territory here. How many times do you push the reset button before you realize the game is rigged?

We really are dealing with some grade A idiots here, and it’s not the guy down the street running a barber shop out of his living room without a business license. No, the stupidity is trickling down on us from above. The expensive grocery chain Whole Foods is opening up in the Cass Corridor soon, and we wish them all the best. We can’t help but wonder if they’ll be locking their dumpsters at night or going the extra step of dumping bleach on food before they throw it out to make sure no one ‘steals’ it. What about that ‘try anything’ policy the other stores have, where you can walk up to an associate and ask to try any product and they’ll gladly oblige? We very well might end up with the country’s first Whole Foods with an armed police force.

The buffoons are the lapdogs of the former “masters of the universe,” the self-titled group of the biggest Wall Street bankers recently brought to their knees by their own insatiable greed, that is, the workings of modern capitalism. No longer “masters of the universe” but the “walking dead” — they want to consume all that is good about our city, our people.

At the same time, the EM’s office is starting to bare its teeth and show us they mean business. The city unions and its workers are in Kevyn Orr’s crosshairs and there’s been murmurs about selling off Detroit’s Water Department and Belle Isle. These are family heirlooms that have been passed onto us from previous generations which we must protect. The battles throughout the years to retain control of our city and its assets have been long and exhausting, both physically and mentally. We cannot allow these idiots to come into town and take all of our stuff. The real question is, when will we stop them?